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But Paula doesn't read the tabloid. What she does find valuable is a best-selling book called The Secret of Letting Go. Here's one paragraph from that book: "I still don't understand why there is such a strong emphasis on letting go. If I were to open my big mouth, I might end up dying from all the bad karma that would build up. If I could take the time, I would tell you, 'My dear, do not try to understand me. This is what I do to understand life. But I must be honest with you. If you asked me, 'What is the secret of letting go?' I would have to tell you that I have no idea." Vasquez has no money problems. Paula pays a mortgage on her house, and the kids go to Catholic school. By any definition, she's a happy person. But a few times a year, the psychic effects of her childhood overwhelm her. One of her episodes happened at the end of the Fall Semester. She was on her way to class, pulling into a parking space, and a man she'd never seen before suddenly appeared and spoke to her. "He was wearing a dark trenchcoat and sunglasses," she says. "He was holding a small shopping bag. I noticed his hands were shaking. We were talking, and he went to his car. I was shocked. I thought to myself, 'Who is that person?' And then it dawned on me: Oh, my God! That's me! " She sat in her car. "I was paralyzed," she says. "There were tears coming down my cheeks, and I couldn't move. I was just stunned. I didn't know what was happening." Shortly thereafter, Vasquez received another haunting phone call. She was on her way to another class, and a man, she recalls, said: " 'I saw you last night. I saw you on Wilshire in your nice car. We have to meet.' " On the way back to her house, she called an attorney friend who specializes in restraining orders. She filed for a temporary restraining order, and the court granted her a 10-day order. When she walked into the court on the final day, the case was over. The man never showed up. Vasquez says that day and the week that followed were the scariest of her life. And she hasn't let it go. "As you

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